Have you ever woke up, looked around, and realized that your life has become that of a recluse? Well, that has been this summer for me. After spending the winter in Rome, exploring the city by walking for hours every day, followed by shorter visits to Turkey and Scotland, I came home, and stayed home.
The transition was gradual over the spring. Upon coming back, my weekly schedule altered between classes on campus with a 2 hour round trip commute and long work days from home. In the midst of the quarter, my adult children found apartments nearby and moved out, which is exciting, but led to an empty condo.
Classes ended for the quarter, eliminating a regular commute and forced outside interactions. The cycle of the week became one that looked closer to pandemic days than 2024. Yet, when we were in the thick of the pandemic lockdown, I did not have the security nor position to work remote, and so those days were spent hustling several jobs to make ends meet.
As days blurred other than what the calendar said, I found myself leaving the house less and less. I wish I could say I intentionally chose this season to sit back and soak it all in. Emotions and self talk decided this was their time to rise to the surface. This caused tears to flow on occasion, words to be written in reflection, and some mindless scrolling to supress the emotions that I didn't want to face.
One realization I had during this time is that I have been living in a state of high activity as a survival technique for the better part of the last decade. And every single summer for at least the past decade has had a major life change occur - from sabbatical to Haiti (take that statement in for a minute), divorce, working 3 jobs, traveling to several countries, the pandemic, moving across the country, grieving the loss of my father, car camping Hwy 101 along the Pacific Coast, training to run an intense trail race in Canada, fishing with my son in Alaska, to my adult children moving in after their cross country move. That is a decade of massive change - exciting and devastating. The full range of emotions and experiences have happened over these last years.
Back to the present. This summer has been gloriously dull. At times I’ve beat myself up for that, for not being more active in my community, or creating an adventurous summer. And then I decided to embrace this season of quiet. A season to enjoy tasty cappuccinos made in my Italian moka pot, watch Arabic shows and movies that expose me to a new culture in a fun way, and research several rabbit holes of interest to see what the next pursuit might be. There is always something on the horizon, though for this season I am keeping most of the that close to the chest.
With that, I am ready to dive back into writing. There will be continued blog posts consisting of reflections and upcoming adventures, though I also intend to dip my toes into more long form journalistic style writing. I think this will allow a space to develop my writing skills while combining interests, adventures, and research skills learned while in university.
More soon...
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